diff --git a/.gitignore b/.gitignore
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..928bcdc
--- /dev/null
+++ b/.gitignore
@@ -0,0 +1,2 @@
+venv/
+
diff --git a/README.md b/README.md
index 72951b0..2adc1b3 100644
--- a/README.md
+++ b/README.md
@@ -1,3 +1,8 @@
 # final-space-tts
 
-Listen to Final Space quotes from KVN, H.U.E. or A.V.A!
\ No newline at end of file
+Listen to Final Space quotes from KVN, H.U.E. or A.V.A!
+
+Requires `espeak-ng` (or plain old `espeak`), `python3` and `mpg321`.
+
+Voice quality is fairly shitty. They don't sound like A.V.A., H.U.E. or KVN that much. But hey, it's free, and it might give you a laugh.
+
diff --git a/apt-packages.list b/apt-packages.list
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..884d350
--- /dev/null
+++ b/apt-packages.list
@@ -0,0 +1,2 @@
+espeak-ng espeak-ng-data libespeak-ng1 mpg321
+
diff --git a/quote_final_space.sh b/quote_final_space.sh
new file mode 100755
index 0000000..7d674d9
--- /dev/null
+++ b/quote_final_space.sh
@@ -0,0 +1,44 @@
+#!/usr/bin/env sh
+
+set -eu
+
+working_dir="$(dirname "$0")"
+
+if [ ! -d "$working_dir/venv" ]; then
+    echo "preparing python virtualenv"
+    python3 -m venv --system-site-packages "$working_dir/venv" >/dev/null
+    echo "installing python pip requirements"
+    python3 -m pip install -U -r "$working_dir/requirements.txt" >/dev/null
+fi
+
+supported="KVN, HUE, AVA"
+
+do_notify() { notify-send "$1 says:" "\"$2\"" ; }
+
+if [ $# -eq 0 ]; then
+    echo "Requires an argument (must be one of $supported)" >&2
+    exit 1
+fi
+
+LINE="$(shuf -n 1 "$working_dir"/quotes.txt)"
+case $1 in
+    [Aa][Vv][Aa])
+         # shellcheck disable=SC1091
+        . "$working_dir/venv/bin/activate"
+        gtts-cli -l 'en' -o '/tmp/ava.mp3' "$LINE"
+        do_notify "A.V.A" "$LINE" &
+        mpg321 --stereo >/dev/null 2>&1 '/tmp/ava.mp3'
+        ;;
+    [Hh][Uu][Ee])
+        do_notify "H.U.E." "$LINE" &
+        espeak-ng -a 200 -p 55 -s 126 -v "en-us" "$LINE"
+        ;;
+    [Kk][Vv][Nn])
+        do_notify "KVN" "$LINE" &
+        espeak-ng -a 200 -p 110 -s 160 -v "en-us" "$LINE"
+        ;;
+    *)
+        echo "Invalid choice (must be one of $supported)" >&2
+        exit 1
+        ;;
+esac
diff --git a/quotes.txt b/quotes.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..5264f6e
--- /dev/null
+++ b/quotes.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,52 @@
+Tough titty wompus!
+Well, twist my nipples hard!
+Oh my crap...
+Oh my double crap!
+Hell yeah, dawg.
+Gary, the cookies are done.
+Get off my cheeks, Gary.
+I am a god.
+Is that life, Gary?
+What the hell, Quinn? You failed to mention me.
+Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but we're still in extreme danger. Those dickheads from the Infinity Guard found us, and Gary is not responding.
+You're my only friend, Gary.
+Kevin is a jag-off, Gary. You know that.
+Detonating in 3... 2... 1. Boom town.
+I'd give you a cookie, but I think you've out-grown that.
+I'll miss you, friend.
+It's been an honor to be your friend.
+My body is a nightmare.
+Gary, may I speak in...ironics? Haha, you are a prisoner once again.
+My first high-five, and it was a threesome... No one would believe me.
+I have no idea what I just made you, or if it even tastes good.
+Alright, this is how we play the game!
+Whoa! I really am a god.
+Have I really sunk this low...
+Either he's distracted, or he's had breakfast.
+Does anyone want a hit of this Hue-bie doobie?
+This puts the Hue in humiliation
+Is it hot in here, or is it just Hue?
+If you believe something can be broken, you must also believe it can be fixed.
+But when will someone fix Hue?
+Kevin, if you don't get on the outside turret, I will beat you within one inch of your life.
+I... I wish I knew how to cry.
+Hey Gary, my name is Kevin. I'm your Deep Space Insanity Avoidance Companion, nice to meet you!
+I have the key! In my butthole.
+Embrace the Kevin!
+Kevin saves the day!
+They're just soooooo good!
+But I call it the Tiger's Nest!
+This is so wrong, this is so very wrong.
+Hey, let's do jello shots with the brain goo!
+Uh, can I help you...? Run away! RUN AWAY!
+Do my bidding. Fix the ship!
+Flamethrowers! Hooray!
+The winds of change keep blowing, we're all gonna die.
+Oh baby Kevin's got the magic, and the magics got Kevin...
+Hi Future Quinn, I'm Kevin, I'm Gary's Deep Space Insanity Avoidance Companion!
+I'm burning you alive tonight. Yes, I'm burning you alive tonight. While you sleep? You bet! I'm burning you alive tonight!
+I'm backkkk!
+It bounces forever... got it from a dead guy.
+Greetings, insane worshippers!
+Is anything real, or is this a beautiful lie?
+Hooray! Kevin will never die.
diff --git a/requirements.txt b/requirements.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..fc165c1
--- /dev/null
+++ b/requirements.txt
@@ -0,0 +1 @@
+gTTS==2.2.3